And I'm Off

I bring you my last post before I leave for Thailand.  The countdown is over.  It seems like just yesterday I received the email with the job offer and now, I’ll be on a plane at 1:30 am, trying to figure out what to do first in trying to pass time on a 16 hour flight.

The past month has really taken a toll on me emotionally.  The wedding was happy, but with happy weddings come happy tears of course.  Then, during the wedding weekend, I had sad goodbyes woven throughout.  You often forget how amazing friends are until you spend a long, fun, and highly entertaining weekend with them.  It was very difficult to say goodbye to the people I’ve grown accustomed to seeing at least once a month.

I said goodbye to my family at a little going away party we had Columbus Day weekend, but I still promised I would go visit each of them again, and I did the best I could with that.  That was also rough, especially knowing that I won’t have any holidays with them this year.  Even though I may not have cried to all of them, I definitely shed a tear or 17 thinking about them this week.  My sister was home for the party too and I am so happy I got to say goodbyes to her in person.  Lindsey recently moved to Nantucket with her boyfriend Jake.  Nantucket.. I’m not sure I understand that yet, but then again, I’m moving somewhere way more drastic.  Guess I can’t really talk.  They seem happy being there together, and that’s what matters.

I left my students and coworkers for good on Monday.  As much as I have been looking forward to leaving the daycare, I cried like a baby.  My students definitely don’t entirely understand that I won’t be back, and I can imagine that “What the heck is wrong with this lady” was among some of the thoughts going on in their heads while I was bawling my eyes out.  Although teaching a roomful of three year olds can be stressful (I give one child in particular all of the credit for the gray hair I have accumulated) and I really was ready to move onto something else, kids are kids and I can’t help but love them all.  They are hilarious and you never know what is about to come out of a child’s mouth.  I recently asked one of my girls what her dad’s job was because it was community helper week and her dad is a trooper.  She replied with “working out.”  Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but it's things like this that just make me laugh and love this age group.  Saying goodbye to my coworkers was just as difficult. I have gotten to work with great people over the past two years and I wish them all the best taking on my kids without me!

Now, goodbye has been dragged out a bit with my friends.  Even though we have had so many fun events planned, the inevitable departure was always on everyone’s mind.  The closer today got, the more everyone was thinking about it.  And crying about it.  If I didn’t know this before, I now know that we can be quite the emotional bunch, especially after having a few margaritas (who am I kidding, I definitely knew this before).  I met my amazing friends at Mexican Radio last night for a final hoorah.  We had some laughs and caught up a bit, but it was a going away party.  All anyone was thinking about was me going away.  We eventually got to the goodbyes and it honestly wasn't as bad as I thought.  By this point, we’ve been crying about my leaving for a good two months, and now I’m just ready to go.  As sad as I am to leave the ones I love, I am so excited for what’s coming up and I need to be selfish here.  I’ve realized that it’s just 6 months. Life will go so quickly in 6 months and by the time I snap my fingers, I’ll be home.  Unless I find a European boyfriend and move to Europe (mom, if it happens, it happens).  Friends, I love you so much.  You are the ones I spend most of my time with and I am not as comfortable and myself around any other people in the world.  No one will ever be able to replace you and I am the luckiest girl to have you.  Be happy with where you are, however you can make that happen.  Run marathons.  Keep our corner of the bar at Lionheart warm.  Open up a bakery.  Fly to Italy.  Don't keep people in your lives who let you down.  You don't deserve it.  Be happy.  Love you.

I haven’t even gotten to say goodbye to my parents yet, but I can’t imagine it being pretty.  They have been my biggest support system for anything that I have done throughout my life, and I honestly don’t know how people survive without parents like mine.  Whether it’s a flat tire that needs fixing, or a flight that needs to be bought for Christmas, they are always there.  It’s funny, but I haven’t gotten very many tangible birthday or Christmas gifts for a long time now.  I am always trying to travel.  On my salary at the daycare, I could barely afford to take a weekend trip to Boston, let alone support my frequent traveling itch so, insert flights (or spending money) as gifts.  Vegas (twice), New Orleans, Atlantic City, and even Italy way back in high school.  Why get clothes that I’ll end up hating soon enough when I can gain an experience that I will never forget.  I love them so much for supporting me when I choose to drain all my funds on traveling!

Everyone please pray that my mother doesn’t have a heart attack at any point throughout my first flight.  If you have children you would like them to adopt while I am away, that may be helpful as well, as this will truly be the first time they have a very empty nest.  I think they’ll do great without me though, they’re growing up so fast :)

I want to give thank yous to every person who has encouraged me to go for such a crazy opportunity.  Recently I have been wondering if I am just that.. Crazy.  But no, I then correct myself. Smart.  That’s what I am.  People don’t just get handed an experience like teaching English to 2^nd graders in Thailand.  It is the opportunity of a lifetime and I know I won’t regret going.  So, I am off.  Off to the unknown.  Not knowing the person picking me up at the airport.  Not knowing the language.  Not knowing exactly where I’ll be living.  Not knowing how to teach English to native Thai children.  Not knowing where the best place is to exchange my dollars for baht.  These unknown things would be a big deal for many people, but as I do in any other typical day of my life, I’m just going with the flow.  What will be will be, and I’m going to take each day as it comes.