Sunday, June 1, 2014

Arizona

How does a person know where they are supposed to be? Where should you go to college? Where should you find a job? Where should you settle down? These are questions that I've been thinking about a lot since going to Thailand. 

I get nervous thinking about where I will be in ten years. Many people my age may automatically think, I will be right where I am at this moment, only with a husband and two kids (Not that there is a problem with this. I look to my parents as having an ideal situation. They have been together since college and I am thankful to have Claverack be the place I will always call home. And thankful that I still have a bed there to sleep on when I'm in between moves.) As much as I would love to say that myself, I don't seem to have a here. I've moved around so many times since leaving for college, and I love every place that I've been for different reasons. I have always sworn that if I find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I would be willing to make my here be wherever he is. Not having a significant other makes this a bit difficult though. I can't seem to picture myself anywhere (or I can see myself living everywhere).

The next best thing after a boyfriend is a job (right?). As long as I find a city to teach in that I love, I will stay. I want desperately to be a teacher. I am fortunate enough to have had people push for me to get a leave position at Taconic Hills. As lucky as I am to be finishing the school year with these fourth graders, it will inevitably end at the end of June. I have been applying for job after job after job since March for the 2014-2015 school year, and unfortunately, it looks like I have slim chances of finding anything in New York. Outside of New York, I have applied in Massachusetts, Arizona, DC, and North Carolina. All mostly random places, but I have no concept of where I might be happiest. Ideally, I'd love to stay in New York, but I can't picture myself staying here without having my own classroom. I'm afraid that substitute teaching would wear me out and discourage me from the profession. So, it is again time to move on. I have accepted a third grade teaching position in Mesa, Arizona and I will be road tripping there in the middle of July. My cousin Mandy works at this school, and she has slowly been talking me into wanting to go there for a while now. All I hear are good things about Arizona, and it is guaranteeing me my own classroom. I can't really justify staying here, getting little experience, when I can move to an amazing state and put my teaching skills to good use. Do I want to come back to New York eventually? Of course. But can I fly home whenever I want? Of course. And do I want lots of visitors? Of course (the Superbowl is in Phoenix next year, wink, wink).

Am I meant to be in Arizona? Who knows! What I do know is that this is the move I need to make right now for me and my career.